We know that Mother’s Day can be a triggering holiday if you’ve experienced pregnancy loss or are having difficulty conceiving. We’re sharing strategies on how to navigate the difficult emotions attached to loss and infertility around this holiday, and offering advice on how to support a friend who may be struggling.
How To Face Mother’s Day When You’ve Experienced Loss or Infertility
- Take time to care for yourself. Focusing inward and caring for yourself is important around the holiday. Try doing an activity you enjoy most, whether that’s taking a workout class, reading a favorite book, or catching up on a favorite TV show.
- Know your triggers. If seeing Mother’s Day posts on social media upsets you, try taking a break from social media for the days surrounding the holiday.
- Choose what to share with others. The holiday may prompt curious strangers or family members to ask the dreaded, “When are you having kids?” question. Be prepared with responses about how much of your journey you want to share. It’s okay to share as much or as little as you want!
- Have support. Keeping your closest friends and family nearby is important, especially around the holiday. Attending a support group can also be helpful to hear other’s perspectives.
How To Support A Friend On Mother’s Day Who Has Experienced Loss or Is Struggling to Conceive
- Avoid Asking Pregnancy Related Questions. Instead of putting the focus on pregnancy and babies, try asking other questions about what’s going on in your friend’s life such as her career, travel plans, or future goals.
- Don’t give unsolicited advice. Although offering advice may seem like the appropriate response, it can feel demeaning to someone who has been struggling for months. Simple statements such as, “Just relax, once you stop thinking about it, you’ll get pregnant,” can be hurtful. If a friend or family member opens up to you about their struggle, try replying with a statement of encouragement like, “Infertility is tough, and you are being so strong!”
- Don’t minimize the problem. It can be difficult to hear sentiments like, “Everything happens for a reason.” It is important to remember that infertility or pregnancy loss is difficult for everyone, whether they express it openly or not. Trying to grow a family without success can be hurtful emotionally, physically, and even financially. Try offering support by saying, “I’m sorry you’re struggling, and I am here for you.”
- Let them know you care. Above all, if you know someone who is struggling, show them you care. There are so many ways to show you care such as sending a card or gift, or offering your time to help them run an errand. A small act of kindness can help those struggling with infertility or loss to feel less isolated and lonely.
If you are struggling with infertility, you’re not alone. We’re here to help. Our highly skilled partners at South Jersey Fertility Center and the Fertility Institute of New Jersey and New York, have helped thousands of families on their path to parenthood. Click below to learn more and see how they can help you in your journey!